Another episode

Life is this series of unavoidable twists and turns, chances and coincidences. Pessimists would see the bleak and the hard times the optimist would wait for the silver lining but nonetheless both would live the perpetual ambiguity of the perennial mystery of life and existence. Perhaps this brief introduction serves no purpose at all or perhaps it assays the higher philosophy that teaches us to 'forgive and forget'. In the distant foreign land I had found a friend, I could never reciprocate his feelings for me as I had already chosen my man and he could not live up to the standards that my love has set for me by his easy going 'i'll be there for you' attitude. Nonetheless, this friend of mine was there through thick and thin and his spontaneously gracious and helpful attitude helped him befriend all whom I called my friends too. In these five months itself we have many memories together - sweet and nice ones. Until recently the monstrous face of ego shove its head into the already tipsy relationship that we had. Well the last couple of days at least gave me an insight into the pent up bitterness that this friend of mine had. I cannot call it a friendship any longer, for there isn't any now and I am not even willing to clarify the misconceptions with which he has decided to live. As for my part I have become all the more wary of men... they are too impulsive according to me...and most often they devalue the essence of friendship. Women are no good...but at the end of it all I think I have implicitly and rather reluctantly begun to believe Adam and Eve were just created to be man and wife...friendship is not quite in the menu it seems...

:(

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

If you are a friend please read this! So now if you see my status message on Gtalk it is "i am crazy and mad ...plz ping me".... Now whoever played my alter-ego and changed the status did a great job!


I am loving it. What a comprehensive understanding of a fellow 'madizen' ( as in mad citizen.)


Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

I have, as opposed to controversies an excellent manager. I have a wonderful team. a five star office. But I want something else I want a job that I am fit for and which fits me. You'll hear and read more about this cribbing in the coming months I guess. Till I know I am where I wanted to be.

"Thundering typhoons"!! No that is not funny at all I tell you. When you have a job that sucks and the rest of the world refuses to believe that you are rotting simply because this parasite called my 'job' is eating like maggots at whatever wee bit intelligence the benevolent almighty had bestowed on me- it is not FUNNY! The questions is who can I blame? If I blame fate then it is escapism! If I blame my parents and family, you know for sure that they are playing scapegoat to my frustration. Whose left? The author. Laugh out loud! Its me!!! tra la la la la.....

Stop!!! Don't sing you buffoons. Give me a god damned good job!!!

I'll bless you'll. Promise.

Ouch!!

Why don't these people understand that I do not want to be spammed with unnecessary job calls for a Sales Representative. God damn you people I want to write give me something creative. Go sell them yourself you morons. Or go sell your brains( of course its useless because no one's going to buy them).






Now this is sheer frustration. The devil's speaking. Believe me. Its not me!

The Pencil

It was only yesterday that I was reading Coelho. This man has a fantastic sense of language. Like the Flowing River- that is what I was reading and the words in it were indeed free flowing they echoed the gush of the water in the rivers and had enough for all to enjoy. If you burn down to assessing the content - yes it is didactic but a world that is fast losing its halo of ethics and virtues it seems a good read. This is definitely not a review of this work by Coelho. What is fascinating and also the reason why I desired to put it up here is that particular story about the 'Pencil'. Of all the qualities of the pencil that the elderly person shares with the young mind, the final one is " the pencil leave s a mark". At this point something choked me - when you try too hard to leave behind a mark you finally end up " leav(ing) the world unseen". Some kind of premonition struck me- "is this the end?"

Nurturing the wounds

Futility and failure drugs me all the time. I have not been able to define what I believe is achievement but I always feel I am falling short of what I had dreamt. When dreams are born out of illusions, springs forth from the surreal world of the fantasy books they stay on in the mind creating a niche in the delicate realm of the human emotions pushing us to hope and still hope till 'hope' itself turns to a delirium. For many what I am today is an example to follow- to myself I am the perfect picture of nothingness. In the fullness of smile there is a hollowness that is hard to hide but how many are deceived! Cajoled into my amiable manners they miss the spite that is brewing within- a disgust that accompanies my lust for my unattained Taijasa!