tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40359899733923586992024-02-20T05:06:26.311-08:00Taijasa unattainedLiving in the perpetual shadow of Eliot's aspiration and achievementMystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035989973392358699.post-53952807728962262052013-06-25T07:02:00.004-07:002013-06-25T07:02:55.992-07:00Forget...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">I don’t
know whether it’s true,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">But if it
is<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">Then you
are better off having no memory<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">For all
those things that you said,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">And all the
time we spent<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">Refuses to
flush out of my system<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">And my
memories are killing me everyday<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">I have a
host of friends<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">And you were
one of them<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">But now
even in a crowded place<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">I feel like
a loner again<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">I cannot
say what I’m going through<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">I will not
beg to you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">I only need
some answers<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">Don’t know
whether you have them<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">For if I
ask you a thing<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">You’d say I
know nothing<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">And then blame
me all over again<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">Saying it
was me all the way<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">So it is
better off this way<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">With you
saying you forget<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">But my
memory is killing me every day<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">You say be patient learn to forget</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">I'm no good</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">But I'm no good at forgetting either</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">So it is so hard to just forget</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">But they
say time heals<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">And with
time the days will fade<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">And then
when you knock at my door<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">I’d ask “do
I know you”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">For by then
I would have learnt to forget...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then...</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You will have to learn to forget all over again!</div>
</div>
Mystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035989973392358699.post-29042493569952991042013-06-03T00:17:00.000-07:002013-06-03T00:17:02.906-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
My love for you is as perennial as eternity and vast and enormous as the universe itself as deep as the sea and as beautiful and Utopic as the concept of heaven itself -- liberating and boundless. You feel the same and you will never love anyone else that way ever and you will be there for me and if there is GOD then he knows it all and one day we both will be together, I want to spend the rest of my life with you and there will that day that GOD will gift us when we both will be together...and I have full faith that day will come...I will patiently wait...when I can just cuddle up to you and sleep and not worry about who says what...not worry about whether we are married or not...just you and me...talking about our philosophies of life and just stay that way... </div>
Mystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035989973392358699.post-47722801912506519922013-05-21T06:09:00.002-07:002013-05-21T06:09:04.982-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Here you go...adding another to the list...I'm in bad shape...very bad...I need divine intervention and I need him to say IT<br />
<br />
<span class="line line-s" id="line_1" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">What's the time? Seems it's already morning</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_2" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I see the sky, it's so beautiful and blue</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_3" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">The TV's on but the only thing showing</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_4" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Is a picture of you</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;" /><span class="line line-s" id="line_5" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Oh, I get up and make myself some coffee</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_6" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I try to read a bit but the story's too thin</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_7" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I thank the Lord above, you're not here to see me</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_8" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">In this shape I'm in</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;" /><span class="line line-s" id="line_9" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Spending my time, watching the days go by</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_10" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Feeling so small, I stare at the wall</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_11" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Hoping that you think of me too</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_12" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I'm spending my time</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;" /><span class="line line-s" id="line_13" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I try to call but I don't know what to tell you</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_14" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I leave a kiss on your answering machine</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_15" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Oh, help me please, is there someone who can make me</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_16" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Wake up from this dream?</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;" /><span class="line line-s" id="line_17" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Spending my time, watching the days go by</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_18" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Feeling so small, I stare at the wall</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_19" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Hoping that you are missing me too</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;" /><span class="line line-s" id="line_20" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I'm spending my time, watching the sun go down</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_21" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I fall asleep to the sound, of tears of the clown</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_22" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Prayer gone blind, I'm spending my time</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;" /><span class="line line-s hover" id="line_23" style="background-attachment: scroll; background-color: #e6eff8; background-image: none; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: repeat repeat; border: 0px; color: #3a598f; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">My friends keep telling me, "Hey, life will go on"</span><span class="line line-s hover" id="line_24" style="background-attachment: scroll; background-color: #e6eff8; background-image: none; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: repeat repeat; border: 0px; color: #3a598f; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Time will make sure I'll get over you</span><span class="line line-s hover" id="line_25" style="background-attachment: scroll; background-color: #e6eff8; background-image: none; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: repeat repeat; border: 0px; color: #3a598f; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">This silly game of love you play, you win only to lose</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;" /><span class="line line-s hover" id="line_26" style="background-attachment: scroll; background-color: #e6eff8; background-image: none; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: repeat repeat; border: 0px; color: #3a598f; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I'm spending my time, watching the days go by</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_27" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Feeling so small, I stare at the wall</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_28" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Hoping that you think of me too</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;" /><span class="line line-s" id="line_29" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I'm spending my time, watching the sun go down</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_30" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I fall asleep to the sound, of tears of the clown</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_31" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Prayer gone blind, I'm spending my time</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;" /><span class="line line-s" id="line_32" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I can't live without your love</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_33" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Good I am spending my time</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_34" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">My time, my time</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_35" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Makes me big without you honey, honey</span><span style="border: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /><br /></span></div>
Mystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035989973392358699.post-22324325711161645382013-05-21T03:16:00.002-07:002013-05-21T04:19:42.465-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
another one that suits my situation to the hilt...<br />
<span class="line line-s" id="line_1" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">In everything I see you appear with me</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_2" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">How come? How come?</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_3" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">And everything I do involves you too</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_4" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">We are like one</span><br />
<span class="line line-s" id="line_5" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">In my life there has been so many changes</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_6" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">And I don't want to be left out in the rain</span><br />
<span class="line line-s" id="line_7" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I don't wanna get hurt, I've done my time</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_8" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">All I want from you is to tell the truth</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_9" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I don't wanna get hurt no more this time</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_10" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I don't wanna go blind and find</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_11" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">It's falling apart all the time</span><br />
<span class="line line-s" id="line_12" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">In the middle of a dream</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_13" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">You are there for me, your face, your lips</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_14" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">But there's no way you can tell</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_15" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">'Cos I hide it really well, so well</span><br />
<span class="line line-s" id="line_16" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">In my life there has been lovin' and lyin'</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_17" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">And I don't need another reason to cry</span><br />
<span class="line line-s" id="line_18" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I don't wanna get hurt, I've done my time</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_19" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">All I want from you is to tell the truth</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_20" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I don't wanna get hurt no more this time</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_21" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I don't wanna go blind and find</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_22" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I'm falling apart one more time</span><br />
<span class="line line-s" id="line_23" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I don't wanna get hurt, I've done my time</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_24" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">All I want from you is to tell the truth</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_25" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I don't wanna get hurt no more this time</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_26" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I don't wanna go blind and find</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_27" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I'm falling apart one more time, yeah</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_28" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">One more time</span><br />
<span class="line line-s" id="line_29" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">(I don't wanna get hurt)</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_30" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">(I don't wanna get hurt)</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_31" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I don't wanna get hurt</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_32" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">(I don't wanna get hurt)</span><span class="line line-s hover" id="line_33" style="background-attachment: scroll; background-color: #e6eff8; background-image: none; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: repeat repeat; border: 0px; color: #3a598f; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I don't wanna get hurt</span><span style="border: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /><br />You have to kiss me before you leave and you will approach...they say if you want something the whole universe conspires to make it happen...MAKE IT HAPPEN!</span></div>
Mystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035989973392358699.post-10913307216192224972013-05-21T03:03:00.002-07:002013-05-21T03:03:48.255-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span class="line line-s" id="line_1" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">In a time</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_2" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Where the sun descends alone</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_3" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I ran a long, long way from home</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_4" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">To find a heart that's made of stone</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;" /><span class="line line-s" id="line_5" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I will try</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_6" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I just need a little time</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_7" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">To get your face right out of my mind</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_8" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">To see the world through different eyes</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;" /><span class="line line-s" id="line_9" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Everytime I see you</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_10" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Oh, I try to hide away</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_11" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">But when we meet it seems I can't let go</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_12" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Everytime you leave the room</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_13" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I feel I'm fading like a flower</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;" /><span class="line line-s" id="line_14" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Tell me why</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_15" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">When I scream, there's no reply</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_16" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">When I reach out, there's nothing to find</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_17" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">When I sleep, I break down and cry</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_18" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Cry, yeah</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;" /><span class="line line-s" id="line_19" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Everytime I see you</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_20" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Oh, I try to hide away</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_21" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">But when we meet it seems I can't let go</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_22" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Everytime you leave the room</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_23" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I feel I'm fading like a flower</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;" /><span class="line line-s" id="line_24" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Fading like a rose</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_25" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Fading like a rose</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_26" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Beaten by the storm</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;" /><span class="line line-s" id="line_27" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Talking to myself</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_28" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Getting washed by the rain</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_29" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">It's such a cold, cold town</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_30" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Ooh, it's such a cold town</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;" /><span class="line line-s" id="line_31" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Everytime I see you</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_32" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Oh, I try to hide away</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_33" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">But when we meet it seems I can't let go</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_34" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Everytime you leave the room</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_35" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I feel I'm fading like a flower</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;" /><span class="line line-s" id="line_36" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Everytime I see you</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_37" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Oh, I try to hide away</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_38" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">But when we meet it seems I can't let go</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_39" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Everytime you leave the room</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_40" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I feel I'm fading like a</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;" /><span class="line line-s" id="line_41" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Everytime I see you</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_42" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Oh, I try to hide away</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_43" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">But when we meet it seems I can't let go</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_44" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Everytime you leave the room</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_45" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I feel I'm fading like a flower</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;" /><span class="line line-s" id="line_46" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Everytime you leave the room</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_47" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">I feel I'm fading like a flower</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_48" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Everytime I see you</span><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;" /><span class="line line-s" id="line_49" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Fading like a rose</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_50" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Everytime you leave the room</span><span class="line line-s hover" id="line_51" style="background-attachment: scroll; background-color: #e6eff8; background-image: none; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: repeat repeat; border: 0px; color: #3a598f; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 5px; vertical-align: baseline;">Everytime I see you</span><span style="border: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /><br />Could not be more appropriate for me!!!</span></div>
Mystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035989973392358699.post-63023240347834248022013-05-09T06:21:00.002-07:002013-05-09T06:32:44.942-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
So it appears Mr Charmer cannot understand why he behaves the way he does and obviously he cannot ignore me, and he does not want me hurt, does not want to admit I am a close friend but is one (through actions), says "bye" to all and deliberately avoids saying bye to me and then comes back and says bye again...when asked like all other times says he does not know why he is doing it...well I have decided to play it cool. I know he loves me and he is battling with his emotions unaware that it surfaces often, trying to give another pretty girl importance and then explaining (which is not his nature) that it is just a mere leg pulling and casual friendship...says you understand me despite that you expect me to behave in one way...when I said you don't need to, he said but you react--you are hurt. But why does he do any of these things there may be reasons but honestly he does not know. Period. Mr Charmer you will come for me...no matter which part of the world you will love me so much that you will seek me out you will travel miles just to be with me...and he can make me jealous...so if I feel love you do too otherwise you' be secretive...that is what you like right...I want to see you wild with passion for me...and I know you will be!</div>
Mystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035989973392358699.post-37845587348690745392013-05-08T03:00:00.001-07:002013-05-09T06:35:43.422-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Solitude or loneliness, you can choose your preferred synonym, is the best Muse. At least, ever since I have come of age and literature became my bread and butter, it has been the undisputed balm to that aching sense of melancholic existence. Even though people claim to have observed a couple of grey hairs dangling from the corners, no one's ever, even in passing, remotely related wisdom to me. Foolishness has no end for me, and precedence has taught me nothing it seems--so my certitude has fallen face flat again, and all my self esteem is grovelling in the dust and my poor self eating dirt thereof and trying shake off the embarrassment. Is ignoring someone so difficult, or is it that I am trying too hard to read into things that eventually don't matter...life is not a chapter, but a novel with many chapters and every chapter comes to an end. It impacts the novel I agree, but it is only the concluding chapter that matters, all the others just lead up to it. I have a strange feeling about this guy, and I don't why I feel, he is emotionally connected to me...else why would someone be repelled...only question is how will I deal with it. Had he ignored me, fine but he says contrary things at different points in time, sometimes I feel I matter, and sometimes I don't...the question no longer is whether I matter, but does he matter...so for most I love literature but for most I hate it too--in his words "emotions" are unbecoming of me! Ten more days and he'd be off miles and miles away, and then he will realize that the emotions he kept running away from are chasing him, the further he goes, the closer he will come to me...I am not a drop of sweat he can wipe of, I am like body odour, and you have to deal with it. He said I should never have a friend like HIM till I die, so be it and he will never be able to love another girl, like he has loved me (unknowingly) till he dies. And distance will make him want me, he will come pursuing me...that is destiny...that is his destiny that he will have to come for me...and he will be driven by the very same emotions for which he called me a "poor little girl" struggling with her emotions...You will seek me...you will have to seek me...it is only a matter of time...I am a sadist...but I want to see you struggle to keep away from the emotion you concur on me, see you struggle to get me!</div>
Mystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035989973392358699.post-5333689469677692742012-06-06T04:39:00.000-07:002012-06-06T04:39:05.109-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Before this I never realized that actually the ambience, the weather the mis-en-scene can account for so many of our emotions. Well today during a conversation with a friend, something struck me and for a split second I thought of that phase and that one boy who in ditching me did me so much good. You can't blame anyone who falls in love more with the idea of love in a romantic ambience...can you?</div>Mystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035989973392358699.post-6534733397180750302012-05-28T04:20:00.001-07:002012-05-28T04:20:39.582-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
When people around you do not practice what they preach it
can really pique you at times. Like this lady I have to report to…she walks in
when she feels like walks out on her whims and gives shady instructions,
suffers severe mood swings wears casuals on a weekday and for all this if on
one day as an exception you did any of these, she’d walk up to you and say
weird stuff. Really some people can drive you nuts and just have so much
attitude that you’d be sick… <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>Mystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035989973392358699.post-56550143343389993932012-05-14T23:24:00.005-07:002012-05-14T23:25:14.147-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
There is a thrill in my veins as I begin to write again in my blog. It's been some time, got married, finished my M.Phil...life has been moving. Little matured in my outlook but forever lost in my childishness--that is the present status of 'mystic doldrums.' It felt nice to browse through the write-ups and revisit the past, to learn of my frustrations and my elation too! A new job, more new friends...there is so much happening around me. Nothing much to stay at this point...feels good...thanks to my loving parents, my adorable husband, and a bunch of really lovely friends... </div>Mystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035989973392358699.post-23330894629058207032010-08-31T10:36:00.000-07:002010-08-31T10:47:31.025-07:00It felt good...'I, Suchismita Das am sorry to inform you that henceforward I will discontinue my services for your esteemed house on personal grounds'--it felt good to have ended an ordeal that otherwise would have taken me another accident to walk out of. It feels great to be a woman but now that I am growing in years and sensibly too, I've known there are more cons than pros when I'd have to enumerate 'being a woman'. Whether we acknowledge it or not we hardly realize that at the end of the day we are petty creatures left to battle the sexual bias all by ourselves. Till late, or precisely till today, this very moment I did not know that sexual harassment could have such strange methods of being implicated. In retrospect, I felt, I jumped into it with eyes wide open but the brain so oblivious; I could not fathom the depth of the thick soup I was drowning in. Choking, suffocating and at all times holding on to the twig that would hardly bear my weight. But I managed to find the shore right when the twig gave way. This is it with most of us when all is over it dawns on us that we were so STUPID! But having reached the shore I garnered all the courage to pen that spite on paper and no words and no emotional outburst could oh! so wonderfully release me off this burden of harassment. 'I quit' sometimes could just be loaded with meaning--I win!Mystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035989973392358699.post-42105419961283877372010-08-05T00:05:00.000-07:002010-08-05T00:11:52.970-07:00Its another sick day with a sick feeling in my stomach...Life can be overtly frustrating at times. Its not that its the scarcity of something that has you brooding but just that nothing seems right. For professional women in love the matters are even worse. As the days go by you realize that love's rosy picture as in the imaginary world of filmography is anything but true. Definitely you have not fallen out of love or for that matter fallen in love with someone else but you see your counterpart is bogged down with his or her own issues that you have just the blog space to bare your heart. Then those hypocritical bosses who for their own ends make you sweat it out and slog and then make you work against your wish--here I'm not just referring to the hours of the day but to the kind of work you are made to do.If you can call it quits you're brave but sometimes showing off your bravery does not go down well with those around you. Its difficult explaining to them that the world is not as it appears.<br /><br />Just about that...Mystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035989973392358699.post-24911740942970264932010-07-06T11:02:00.000-07:002010-07-06T11:16:20.143-07:00As it is now...Currently I am all too muzzled up with ten things up my sleeve and a confused brain trying to sort out a perfect plan to resolve each entity. Unfortunately, none of these aspects have any credible solution or a right or wrong; which is to say that they are the manifestations of the many abstract things that pollute my super-intellect...Of course if I really have to look beyond the narcissism and also forsake my feigned humility of a subdued gracious genius lost in the gutters of the decaying employment dynamics of Kolkata, (pause - I need a break from this elaborate digression!), I am currently back to my perpetual cribbing self. For much of this time I have borne this humdrum of life is a compromise but suddenly my ever suspicious intellect rose from its slumber to realize 'Ouch! stagnation...Holmes, stagnation...'Much too late my dear Watson. I had a clue of it even before there was a case - a case of exploitation and an ever eluding dream. <br />But to rest my critical and self pitying self aside I'd have to admit that if illusion were reality then perhaps the beauty of illusion would have ceased. The mirage has a significance only because it fools you into believing the impossible. Is it not synonymous with <span style="font-style:italic;">hope</span>? at least in these years I have realized that this four letter word has kept be going. Sometimes it has inspired, sometimes imbued me with a challenge, sometimes tempered me and always stood by me when I needed someone by my side the most. It is ironic that <span style="font-style:italic;">illusion and hope</span> are impalpable but to the sore heart and the dreamer's eye they are the only two <span style="font-style:italic;">true things</span> that exist and sustain.Mystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035989973392358699.post-21603742734909901272010-05-08T01:12:00.000-07:002010-05-08T01:30:45.777-07:00Sincerely I have begun to doubt my ability to manipulate language. Often when I rehearse in mind the day's events and the news of a friend suddenly making headway into a reputed newspaper agency, publishing house or magazine editorial team, I sink back into an unhappy unsatiated dissatisfied doldrums from where retrieval seems impossible.Many a summer and winter have gone by but spring is that ever elusive season for which I pine in vain. At this point in time I perhaps don't know what is my direction or where I shall find an exit from this cycle of monotony and depression. Excepting for penning down my thoughts or should I say literally typing them, I have no recluse...Mystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035989973392358699.post-18921683594824561362010-02-11T09:32:00.000-08:002010-02-11T10:08:10.866-08:00Have you ever wondered what it is living in a world that is a parody of virtue existence, where 'fair is foul and foul is fair'? In this era of deceit, despair and despondency, we are mindless morons handicapped by machines and crippled by greedy materialism. On one hand people offer hypocritical prayers for salvation and on the other they slyly enjoy the monetary pleasures, unconsciously inheriting the very vice they preach as 'sin'. At the core we are a selfish and rotten tribe , corrupted and defiled , the true begotten sons and daughters of Adam and Eve, blaming and accusing each other. This is the blatant truth. It is almost hilarious that not some centuries ago priests sold 'salvation' in exchange of money; and today too a simple forty five minutes of meditation promises to cleanse us of all misdeeds! Like magicians and conjurers they make us believe that illusion is <span style="font-style:italic;">the reality</span>. Philosophy and morals in theory appease tender hearts, none of us follow it but we swear by every word. Now at kitty parties and high tea people come and go talking not about Michaelangelo but spirituality and morality. Ironically though, traditionalism is <span style="font-style:italic;">passe. </span> Life is so convoluted that we can no longer judge the right and the wrong and the night is as bright as the day. That is why when the mind seeks some respite and we introspect we find ourselves meandering in the wilderness of moral discrepancies.Mystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035989973392358699.post-53448755799132318772010-02-04T00:55:00.001-08:002010-02-04T01:22:45.638-08:00I forgiveLittle by little time flies,<br />Everyday a hope brings<br />that tomorrow will be a better day.<br />Flowers bloom and birds do chirp<br />but amidst the city din and dirt<br />All is lost 'cept the grimacing face<br />Of loneliness, despair and loss.<br />Where all the happiness is<br />I will never know!<br />Why the creepy shadows of hate<br />smear what was once love's galore?<br />"How are you?" a stranger asks<br />But I smile wryly, <br />For I can now see through the masks,<br />All that seemed so lovely and pure <br />Is mud and dirt today for sure!<br />They have hurt me much<br />They have served me right<br />For all I did and did not do<br />Silent prayers I offered too!<br />No one asked me a favour,<br />No one said I need have cared,<br />It was me that wanted more-<br />A smile on the faces of those I adore!<br />Judgement Day will tell my fate,<br />But it is true I have known,<br />They have hanged and killed <br />All who dared...<br />And all who cared!<br />When I gasp for life at last<br />I will all my blessings cast,<br />On the world<br />And them that sneered<br />Made me live the life I feared.<br />Only spare me a thought,<br />Good or bad,<br />I care not.<br />I know a tear will smear their face<br />When I am gone without a trace!Mystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035989973392358699.post-7008758196272028962009-12-12T00:07:00.000-08:002009-12-12T00:17:46.300-08:00Love pangs!I am not sure what exactly love is! The irony of it all is that I find myself madly in love. The symptoms that are oft repeated and the cliched sickly sweet Bollywood songs seem uncannily similar sometimes and I cannot figure out how! Sleepless nights, deep desire to look all pretty and all those very familiar and irritatingly common stuff that otherwise irritate the hell out of me are here to daunt me for the rest of my life (at least it apparently seems so for the time being.)The interesting facet is that I have failed to find a true logic behind all this mindless behaviour though of course I have pretended to be oblivious of these 'love' consequences. The fact that I have to pen it down in my blog is definitely evidence of my repugnance towards paying a tribute to the <span style="font-style:italic;">love symptoms</span>. All said and done, this does in no way defy my undoubted love for my beloved.Mystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035989973392358699.post-87962887035272867362009-12-06T09:56:00.000-08:002009-12-06T10:06:52.071-08:00Suddenly at a dead end...Its like waking up one fine morning and discovering that all the world has moved on while, like Rip Van Winkle you've spent those years in a mystic delirium of which you can recall nothing and a waste that you cannot make good! Dreams that have plagued you and fascinated you but they were (or are rather) hypnotic illusions that sustain you with the blatant lie - life is fair and the ways of the almighty are just. Definitely I have not turned in an atheist in a couple of fortnights but yes its no good feigning that I am content...contentment seems a distant term and the pursuit of which has brought me to a dead end! Oh! I so wish I had a fairy godmother only she would not give a magic charm to entice Mr. Charming but win my dream and grant me my wish of success and fame...Mystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035989973392358699.post-77295486389326480822009-02-23T21:50:00.001-08:002009-02-23T21:50:55.771-08:00<script type="text/javascript"><br />var gaJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://ssl." : "http://www.");<br />document.write(unescape("%3Cscript src='" + gaJsHost + "google-analytics.com/ga.js' type='text/javascript'%3E%3C/script%3E"));<br /></script><br /><script type="text/javascript"><br />try {<br />var pageTracker = _gat._getTracker("UA-4030541-4");<br />pageTracker._trackPageview();<br />} catch(err) {}</script>Mystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035989973392358699.post-24552886974218349082009-02-22T21:58:00.000-08:002009-02-22T22:27:39.530-08:00The Slumdog Story<span style="font-style: italic;">Jai ho!</span> Slumdog has won 8 Oscars....<br /><br />Does it really feel that elating? Not in retrospect. There is an implicit impertinence in the way that the Occident treats the Orient. Or to be more specific the western perspective of India. Is it not hilarious that the slum dog Jamal speaks in an unmistakable British accent! Is Indian culture down to slums or does the west believe it to be so? Our music, our art, our speech - the west has conveniently overlooked these. They dismiss the <span style="font-style: italic;">passion </span>that is inherent in every Indian. There was only one scene that actually spoke of it, when the little Jamal emerges from the shit holding onto the photo of his idol. Otherwise why would billions of Indian stay glued to the TV sets when an Indian wins an Oscar or a Gold Medal in the Olympics or the cricket World cup - why would they all be party to the <span style="font-style: italic;">jashna?</span> Passion that flows in their blood, unity that stands out in all its diversity. Passion that creates and passion that destroys. That is what we are all about! Emotions that find words in tears that roll down your cheeks when you watch Tare Zameen Par, the anger and the empathy that makes you impatient when you feel helpless while watching Rang De Basanti, the pathos and the paroxysm as you regale in the victory of Bhuvan - this is India!<span style="font-style: italic;"></span>Mystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035989973392358699.post-81044983753786940182009-02-20T02:21:00.000-08:002009-02-20T02:27:12.294-08:00An attempt at creativity<p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">There was a crazy litany in her head…sounds and images creating a synaesthesia that made it impossible for her to concentrate on what the instructor said. Words were a mumble and the classroom a mere blur. She had travelled miles in her thoughts – too far for her own good. Teachers in school often complained that despite her being a more than average student, she never paid attention in class. She found the butterfly or the new blossoming flower more interesting. Life and nature had always intrigued her. </span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">She was in search of something – the undefined. For years now she was striving to know who she was and what her mission in life was. A home, a car, husband, babies – not quite. She craved for more. It had been twenty five years and she was still wondering what it was. Friends and family dismissed her thoughts as immaturity, blabber of a confused mind and more considerate ones heard her alright and then whispered to one another - “philosophical jargon”. </span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">She loved her solitude as much as she hated it. For in her loneliness she discovered her vulnerability. Life had taught her many a lesson but she never could find a definitive answer to the whimsicalities of the human mind. In her chosen moments of solitude she would try to debate with herself and always the socially conscious self would triumph with “I told you so”. But she was not content. Of all thoughts that piqued her, the one that daunted her most was ‘love’. Love was more enigmatic to her than death perhaps. It was intense, dark and treacherous.<span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Yet, love was also refreshing like the first drops of rain on your cheek. It made your soul blush with the colour of the twilight. It was as intoxicating as the smell of the wet soil that lingered on. It made your eyes sparkle like the dazzling dew drops on a wintry morning. To her, love was a spectrum of colours and life, the prism. Each hue intact in its uniqueness and each spectacular in its own right. It had taken her a quarter of a century to decide what she aspired for – she wanted to be drenched with the rich colours of love. </span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Two years she had waited. In silence. Everyone wondered why the emotionally vulnerable girl had not shed a tear, never complained only bore it with a patient shrug. All who knew her were assured that she was brittle and she stunned them all. There were things that mattered and things that did not. To her <i style="">this</i> did not matter – at least not any more. The small diary was lost, the bracelet he gave her had broken – as if she commanded them, and they obeyed. From a dream, to a figure, to an image, to a name and then to nothing -- all traces of him vanished and his image receded into oblivion more smoothly than perhaps day melts into night.</span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Two years and the phone never rang. Till one day, when all spirited she received the call. The teaming house met with a hushed silence. She thought he was history – but no! His voice was unmistakably familiar and her heart skipped a beat. All the pent up questions and anxiety choked her and defiant tears smeared her cheeks as she shamelessly stood victim to the banter of a dead love. It was crueler now than ever before and she shuddered to see the sympathetic faces and hear the murmurs that crowned her the mistress of dejection. How even in his absence he had controlled her emotions and toyed with her unconscious self. Love was dark and treacherous – true. It had tricked her into believing that she was beyond it. She could fathom nothing except the sheer disgrace of being taunted by <i style="">a man.</i> She felt dizzy and her limbs grew weak when she heard him say “Is it so difficult to forgive me?” Indeed! He had walked off for another woman and fancy the man’s guts to make his new found love call her to ask “how good he was”…but she had forgiven him. Did she forget? She never would. </span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">She smiled. He was groveling in the dust, lying as low as possible – all his dignity and ego dripping of infidelity. “Did <i style="">you</i> do anything for which <i style="">I</i> should forgive you?” she asked. Silence ensued and a triumphant sparkle lit up her eyes. Love was intense – it was not bound by the pettiness of human fickleness – it was self redeeming. </span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">Her thoughts trailed off…The classroom came alive and she jolted back to reality. Her memories were laid to rest like all those dreams that she ever dared to weave; but only to rise from their ashes when she would carelessly tread the unknown realms of her mind. </span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255);font-family:times new roman;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>Mystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035989973392358699.post-3359391982476933532009-02-19T04:15:00.001-08:002009-02-19T19:43:29.431-08:00I dreamt about Katrina KaifHave been reading Gibran and comprehending him better. Madness takes time to comprehend and the confessions and prophesies of the insane are more profound than they apparently seem.... While I am not in league with Gibran, I am definitely a comrade to the outlawed insanes. As days pass by, I become more aware of the synonimity with my tribe. To narrate an instance is the dream that I had last night. <div><br /></div><div>....Suddenly in the dark winding alleys of dream I see a dazzle of light and then the picture comes to life with moving figures. I voyuer into my deeper self and see myself standing in a deserted place that only sounds familiar. In the midst of a market, that in reality would resemble a fair, I stand quite lost. In my dream soliloquey (that echoes in my mind ) I ponder on which route leads me home. Standing at the intersection of many streets, I hear cars honking and screaches and a lot of hulla bulla and there is a strange fear that creeps up my bones - a fear of being disowned. In utter confusion I walk into the nearby grocery shop and a figure seemingly blurr, clears to take the form of a familiar face. She(Priya) is my office colleague and also the one who stays in my neighbourhood. In desperation I ask her "Can you tell me which way home is". Apparently she tells me where it could probably be, but am not sure. I stare outside the glass walls and see a red Ford Ikon stop in front of the shop. I step out and peeping from within the car are two of my other colleagues - Aruni and Hitesh. They invite me to have a drive and I presume, offer to drop me home (or did I think they said so)... We drive for hours and now the roads are straight, mostly avenues, it is a long journey.... Aruni stops the car and then very politely hints that now I can go my way. I am in a fix and seeing situation she decides to take me home. We travel for a few more hours and then take a turn at a bend. I reach the lane that looks uncannily like the one that leads to my house... I am about to warn Aruni that the lanes are disastrous but feel rather shy to admit that I live in a place that is no better than a slum. Aruni, who is driving the car; and it is apparently her's, drives straight into the messy, narrow lane. Ahead of us lies a trench that seems to be brimming with water but I choke and become inaudible as I cry for her to look out. The car lands into the water and the force of the water breaks the glass panes and in minutes the car is destroyed and deforms into a mere shabble ... and while all this accident takes place I silently watch as a spectator (but when did I alight from the car?) Aruni and Hitesh retrieve themselves from the chaos and walk towards me. Shame grips me and I am in tears, apologizing for the fate of the car and the episode entirely. I keep cursing and blaming myself. Aruni takes pity on me and gives me the responsibilty of carrying the <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">heart</span> of the car ( cars have heart???). I swear I'll do anything to protect it. At this moment we are transposed to a metro station and the ongoing conversations that I can overhear tell me that perhaps we are heading towards my house still. As time passes by, my destination seems to be shiftig further away. I feel a tug at my arm and then to my astonishment I see a thief trying to snatch the <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">heart </span>away form me. I overpower the shrivelled man and take possession of the <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">heart</span> while the crowd watches me.....</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>...I am sitting on the staircase that leads to a parliament or a temple , I am not sure. Interestingly, I am facing away from the structure, and looking towards the fountain that adorns the porch of the concrete establishment. Kneeling down, hand clasped as if in prayer, I am asking for forgiveness. Before me there is an audience and in a minute's time the whole place starts beaming with people. My sleeping eyes span the place and it is like a primitive Greek auditorium. There is a flash and Salman Khan ( a popular bollywood actor) appears as an incarnation and blesses me. I cannot recognize this personality in the dream and yet he cannot convince me ... (of what and why- I am clueless)...then appears the divine figure of an angel - this time it is Katrina Kaif (the bollywood actress who is dating this actor)... I am impressed by the halo and the pristinity that emanates from her presence...I am engrossed, almost hypnotised and I believe every syllable she speaks, as if in a trance. The audience start clapping - it is an awesome performance and there is a lady standing under the car-shed who starts laughing hysterically - laughter of tragic joy and she mumbles something like the "subaltern rises - strong ".....</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">I wonder what Freud would have said after reading this? </span></div><div><br /></div>Mystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035989973392358699.post-53064310583723357732009-02-17T05:54:00.000-08:002009-02-17T19:35:44.885-08:00I don't look like Sonam Kapoor!!!!<span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">I so don't look like Sonam Kapoor!!!! I swear man.... and there is no resemblance at all... still people will not believe me ... somebody in office.. in the morning today gave my face a thought for a couple of minutes and after the unnoticed silence interrupted the ongoing conversation and chipped in "Does she not look like Sonam Kapoor!" OH No!!!! The embarrassment was too much to bear and to add to all the fiasco a very noble and humble soul added "Yes , but she resembles not one but five Sonam Kapoors" - that was outright insult... and since then any Tom Dick and Harry walks up to me with a smirk and greets me ""Hi Sonam". I knew I was suffering identity crisis but that is now imposed more by the present surroundings .... :( During my university days I was the Indian version of Drew Barrymore (she'd commit suicide if she knew she was being demeaned to this extent) and just when I had managed to reinstate my identity people ensure that I grovel in the dark abyss of elusive existence! There was a considerate soul though who thought Sonam resembled me - as I was older to her...and that was equally grueling - I am old.... I forgot to add that there are still some who debate that I look uncannily like Mamta Kulkarni.... heights man...it seems I was never me!!! Anymore identities that anyone else wants to thrust on me.... ???<br /><br />The next day the world returns to its daily bread and I have sunk deeper into the coma of embarrassment. While all the world rested in peace I kept posing in front of the mirror wondering which face profile made me resemble Sonam Kapoor. At the end of a tedious ordeal when I finally decided to put the case at rest I sifted and shifted on bed wondering was it good humour or sarcasm...the thought lead to an exaggerated insomnia... I woke up the next day still nurturing the wounds of the 'yesterday' only to find that I am running late for office...<br /></span></span></span>Mystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035989973392358699.post-57664500022927720282009-02-17T00:53:00.000-08:002009-02-17T01:03:05.248-08:00I am so lonely ... I am so lonelyLife is a nuisance it seems at times... you chide it, you try to alter it but no, it refuses to change a wee bit. Your phone buzzes 24/7 and your message box is rampaged by the service providers. A wounded soul and a whole lot of daily dozes of stupidity get you going. You've done enough to keep your self occupied .. alas the boredom bug bites you time and again... there is a lot you can do and there is nothing that you can do! Yes yes the <span style="font-style: italic;">oxymoronic</span> life that is dealt out by Almighty to morons like me...Alleluia...Pretty lasses and charming men are my companions but they are all the pseudo souls that meet you every day... some are genuine and the others are genuinely posing ... but nonetheless they are the people with whom you have to deal day in and day out. That is about it just bragging about life that is all....Mystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035989973392358699.post-14877178313256542402009-02-11T00:05:00.000-08:002009-02-11T00:08:40.110-08:00Yup Dear Punz<br /> I so appreciate your laconic response...they kind of drain out all the philosophical sophistication with which I have cushioned my feelings... and this post is just for you darling... Lucrative pleasure at seeing the Humpty Dumpty have a great (virtual/emotional) fall... I know I know... what are friends for... ;PMystic doldrumshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00106129877015734681noreply@blogger.com1